Health Update PT 2: My battle with Crohns and Ankylosing Spondylitis - the journey continues...

Haha! I know. I look terrible. This video explains why. Crohns is a horrible disease. I know - who wants to see or read about it, unless you are suffering too? I don't appear on camera very often for a myriad of reasons. Often, medication or lack of sleep, or lack of food has been looking rather pale, and my hands have a tremble. I was diagnosed in November 2018 with Crohns Disease and Ankylosing Spondylitis.
Crohn's disease is an inflammatory bowel disease (IBD). It causes inflammation of your digestive tract, which can lead to abdominal pain, severe diarrhea, fatigue, weight loss and malnutrition. Inflammation caused by Crohn's disease can involve different areas of the digestive tract in different people.. but mine is in my small intestine. Basically, I have open wounds in my digestive track and its my immune system doing it. It's mis-firing - or "hyper active"
Ankylosing spondylitis is a type of arthritis that affects my spine. Symptoms include pain and stiffness from the neck down to the lower back. The spine's vertebrae fuse together, resulting in a rigid spine. These changes may be mild or severe, .. somedays I can not walk. Some days I am OK. It is very unpredictable, and causes many issues. I want to be checked for Lupus..
This video is intended for people who need support, and for the folks who follow along with my channel and family. I feel like I haven't slept in more than 1 year.. and I know I look that way too. I am trying to be more open about what is wrong as it helps me process.
My mind is going through a lot of different emotions over very short periods of time. I feel like Im on a roller coaster.. both physically, and mentally. Thankfully I have my show to focus on.. and I can pour myself into it when necessary. This means more content.
More so.. there are so many thoughts swirling around my head such as:
1) How am I going to live with this forever?
2) Will I ever be able to eat again?
3) Am I disappointing my friends and family?
4) How to i fix what I have no control over?
5) Medication has side effects
6) Medication is expensive
7) I have to give myself needles?
8) I cant play with my kid the way he wants some days
9) I don't feel desirable to my wife anymore (she loves me dearly!)
10) I look terrible
11) I have a very supportive family
12) My friends like me
13) I have a great job
14) My hobby is really cool, but its changing
15) I'm letting my audience down
16) Do I have to go to the bathroom right now?!
17) Will i ever feel like I can leave my home again?
18) How many more hospital trips do I have to make?
19) Is the doctor/nurse/specialist/medic going to be mean this time?!
20) How many people will say "you don't look sick"
21) Will I p**p in my car if I go out?! (yeah this is a real thought)
22) I don't feel reliable
23) I feel guilty, even though I know I didn't do anything
23) How will my audience react to me being honest with them?
the list goes on and on and on on and on and on..
This video is for those people feeling the same things I am. I don't want people to think they are on their own. Sharing my story may be awkward and embarrassing.. but, who cares?! I can't hide it forever..
These are the cards that I was dealt. They may not be great cards, but its how I play them that count :)
Now you will understand more if I am only able to do the content I show here.. I have limitations being put on my body that are very exhausting... but I still love to create!
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